Skipper Hates Sin

The Pirate Gospel — Romans Chapter One

Skipper hates sin but loves us. Indeed, he loves us so much he sent his son ter die fer us.

Skipper’s Holy Spirit

The gospel of Skipper came through old sailors blown about by his Spirit. Like great, mysterious wind which no seaman can harness or predict, his Spirit guided those who sailed and whispered his words on breezes. These words now be plainly found in Skip’s Covenant Code. With power, Skipper’s Spirit declared the Son ter be the Son of Light and Life.

Skipper’s Son

Born of King David’s bloodline, with grace and mercy, the Son called some ter be apostles. He now summons all ter embrace through faith the salvation he offers in his name. Obedience comes through faith. Without faith in Skipper, we ‘ill not obey. Through faith in the Son we share in Skipper’s booth and treasures await all who do his will and stand with the Son.

So, me hearties, give each other a boost in faith. Skipper’s Good News be his very power, offerin’ salvation ter all ’em who believe—first ter the Jew, then ter the Gentile.

This Good News be the righteousness of Skipper from Skipper revealed by Skipper through faith in Him. The righteous live by faith, not fear, and not by filthy fleshy fishy desires.

Skipper Hates Sin

If any think otherwise, consider this warning: the wrath of Skipper be revealed against all who oppose him. We know this because the wickedness of men seek ter constrain his truth by thar vile, wicked acts. They lie ’bout Skipper’s word, commands, blessings, promises, and declare sin ter be of no account.

What may be known ’bout Skipper be plain ter all because Skipper makes it plain as day and night. Therefore, none ‘ave an excuse. Even though they know all this, they refuse ter honor Skipper or express gratitude ter him. Instead, men and women be futile in thar thinking and thar hearts be dark as Davy Jones. Such folks claim to be wise and yet they be lost at sea. They be on a course that ‘ill shipwreck thar soul, you may lay ter that.

Such reprobates ‘ave exchange the glory of Skipper fer idols. They worship land and sea and birds and animals and naked statues of men and women. As such Skipper lets thar sinful desires ‘ave thar way with ’em.

Such sinful cravings lead ter sexual perversion, shameful lusts, and a depraved mind. As such they be filled with ever’ sort of evil, greed, and vice. They be overcome by envy, murder, strife, deceit, and malice. They be insolent, arrogant, boastful, gossips who slander others and hate Skipper. They disobey thar parents and refuse ter abide by Skipper’s Covenant Code.

Although they know in thar hearts that acting in such a fashion leads ter walking the plank or a short drop with a sudden stop, they not only engage in such vile deeds but cheer on others who practice such filth.

I warn you, mates: Steer clear of such crew, fer if you fall in among ’em, they ‘ill drag you down ter Davy Jones.

Skipper’s Righteous Judgment

The Pirate Gospel — Romans Chapter Two

You who pass judgment on someone else and yet do the same things ‘ave no excuse. Skipper’s righteous judgment be just. Ours be judgement of the flesh and born from the union of pride and envy. Man’s be hypocrisy, and our Lord, the Son of Light and Life, made clear those who do not practice what they preach ‘ill roast on the spit.

Warning: The Son Shines on All Sins

Be warned, mates. Skipper’s judgment on those who partake in wicked deeds while preaching his righteousness be not rooted in truth but foul soil. Fer when we, mere simple souls, cast judgment upon others whilst indulgin’ in the same misdeeds, we heap judgement upon ourselves. The Son shines his light on all sins. Ever’ thing done in the dark ‘ill be exposed in his light.

Judge Not!

Instead of judging others, we be commanded by the Son ter show Skipper’s kindness, tolerance, and patience, fer such compassion leads some ter repentance.

If yer heart remains stubborn and unrepentant, you be layin’ up fer yourself a stockpile of wrath ter come on the day of Skipper’s wrath. He ‘ill repay each soul as thar deeds deserve. Ter those who, through dogged perseverance in doin’ right, seek glory, honor, and the promise of immortality, they ‘ll receive eternal life. But fer ’em scallywags who be self-centered and deny his truth while treadin’ the path of wickedness, they ‘ll face the fury and wrath of the Almighty! Thar ‘ill be trouble and distress fer every feller and lass who do evil, you may lay ter that.

Skipper doth not play favorites. Whether we be a sinner without the law or under the law with its rule, the outcome be the same. Those who break the law without knowin’ it ‘ill still meet thar doom.  Those under the law who break Skipper’s Covenant Code ‘ill be held accountable fer thar actions. No one be spared: all face judgement at the end of our earthly passage.

Righteousness Leads ter Holiness

Those who obey Skip’s Covenant Code are declared righteous and his righteousness leads ter holiness. Lawlessness leads ter filthy livin’.

If you put all yer confidence in keeping Skipper’s Covenant Code and brag about knowin’ each and ever’ law, command, and statute . . . If you think yerself a guide for the lost and a beacon in the darkness but doth not sail under the grace and mercy of the Son . . . you be puffed up with pride and yer faith be headed towards rocks and reefs. The Son is Skipper’s Covenant Code and the Word of Skipper. Let the Son be yer righteousness and his Spirit ‘ill grow holiness within you.

In the Covenant Code, we find the very Body of knowledge and truth. The Word came in flesh through the Son of Light and Life. The Word remains with us now through all the Covenant Code and writings of the Son’s apostles.

You, who be instructors of others, do you not teach yourselves? When you preach against stealin’, do you pilfer from yer crew mates? When you say fellers ought ter keep thar pants on and not sleep with a mistress, do you do the same? When you detest idols, do worship gold and silver and gems?

You, who boast in Skipper’s Covenant Code, do you bring shame on Skipper by breakin’ his commands and law?

Keeping to the Code be of value if you in fact keep it, but if you break the Code, you be as if you ne’er heard of Skip’s Code. So, if ’em who doth not know of Skip’s Code follow his Code because any dunderhead with an ounce of common sense knows right from wrong, will they not be counted as keeping ter the Code?

If any brag ’bout the Covenant Code and yet break even one regulation, they dishonor Skipper. Skipper’s name be blasphemed among lubbers and other crews because we teach and preach his Code but live by our own Code of the Flesh. May it not be so! Repent! Stick ter the Code.

All Be Lyin’ Thievin’ Murderin’ Rascals

The Pirate Gospel — Romans Chapter Three

Speak Skipper’s Words Faithfully

Mates, we be entrusted with the very words of Skipper. Skipper be proven right when he speaks, and he’ll win the day when he judges the crew of ever’ vessel in ever’ fleet. He’ll judge all on land and sea fer all be lyin’, thievin’, murderin’, rascals. Skipper’s truthfulness increases his glory and condemns the sinner.

Now, what if some prove unfaithful? Will thar unfaithfulness make Skipper’s faithfulness of no account? Heaven forbid it! Let Skipper remain true, and ever’ scallawag a rouge. As the scroll reads:

“So that you may be proved right when you speak and prevail when you judge.” (Psalm 51:4)

Skipper’s Judgement and Wrath

But, some may ask, “If my wickedness allows Skip’s Son ter shine brighter why am I still marked as a sinner?” Why not say, as some reprobates go ’bout saying, “Let us do evil so that good may come of it.” Rascals such as this get the lash or worse: a short drop with a sudden stop.

Their condemnation be just! Fer if we sin in order to expand Skipper’s grace then be we treating the sacrifice of his Son as if whar a free gift ter live as lust-filled pagan lubbers. If such whar the case, how could Skipper judge the whole world? And judge he will and soon, you may lay ter that.

No One Is Righteous

So then what be our verdict? Can any escape the wrath of Skipper? Nay! All alike be trapped in sin’s grasp. Just as the scroll declares:

There is no one righteous, not even one;
there is no one who understands;
there is no one who seeks God.

All have turned away,
they have together become worthless;
there is no one who does good,
not even one.”

“Their throats are open graves;
their tongues practice deceit.”

“The poison of vipers is on their lips.”

“Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.”

“Their feet are swift to shed blood;
ruin and misery mark their ways,
and the way of peace they do not know.”

“There is no fear of God before their eyes.”

Skipper’s Covenant Code speaks ter those who be under its rule, silencing every mouth and holding the entire world accountable ter his eternal statutes. Through the deeds of the law no soul ‘ill be declared righteous in the sight of Skipper fer none can keep ter the Code. No, not a one! Instead, Skipper’s Covenant Code be a lantern off the bow revealing our sins lurking beneath the surface ter wreck us.

Righteousness Through Faith

Now apart from Skipper’s Covenant Code, his righteousness be made known ter all, fer his righteousness be given through faith in the Son ter all who believe. Therefore the Code remains fer the Son be the Code in the livin’ flesh. The short of it be this: the Son is Skipper’s Covenant Code. The Son is all Skipper’s Word wrapped up in himself. So if we have the Son in us, we have the Code within us. And when we struggle ter keep ter the Code, the Son himself covers our sin with his grace and mercy and in our weakness gives us his righteousness so we ‘ill continue ter do better and better at keeping to the Code.

Be Filled with the Son’s Holy Spirit of Truth

Mates, don’ wait! Ask fer Skipper’s Holy Spirit of Truth ter fill you so you can cast off yer dark ways and don the armor of light. Our charge be ter behave as folk do in the daylight, not revelin’ in carousin’ and drunkenness, nor sinkin’ into the depths of lust and debauchery, nor stirrin’ up strife and jealousy. Instead, wrap yourselves in the warm mantle of the Son, and give no thought to satisfyin’ the yearnings of the flesh.

We All Need the Son’s Righteousness

We all need the Son and his righteousness, fer all have sinned and fall short of Skipper’s glory. Sailors and lubbers alike be under a curse. We all be lyin’, stealin’, thievin’, murderin’, rascals in need of a savior who can turn our filthy livin’ inter glorious goodness. By the the shedding of his blood on the main mast Skipper gives us the Son as a sacrifice so we can take possession of his righteousness by faith in him.

All Be Lyin’ Thievin’ Murderin’ Rascals

Skipper did this ter demonstrate his forbearance, fer left the sins of our past unpunished so we might ‘ave the opportunity ter take the hand of the Son and be saved. Now if that be the case, then doth not wait. Take hold of the Son right now! Ter wait a moment longer be ter risk sinking under the waves and goin’ down ter Davy Jones.

If we ‘ave the chance ter be saved by the Son and pass it by, all that awaits us is eternal punishment in water of burning sulfur, you may lay ter that.



Romans Chapter Four

The Pirate Bible and Gospel of the Son of Light and Life

The first commander of our fleet, Abraham, believed in Skipper, and it be counted as righteousness ter him. Fer faith in Skipper without action be no faith at all, but mere talk. Romans 4:3

He who toils receives his due as a debt, not as a free treasure. But the feller who don’t toil but trusts in Skipper — who justifies even the most unsavory scalawag — ‘ill be counted as righteous because of his faith. Romans 4:4-5

The Covenant Code stirs up the fury of the flesh and makes a feller wish ter do things Skipper forbids. Even in lands and islands where Skipper’s Code ain’t never been read or heard, thar be wrongdoing, and the conscience of a feller or lass condemns them. Romans 4:15

Mate, be fully persuaded that Skipper has the power to do what he promised and he ‘ill bring all into account when we reach port. Romans 4:21

Romans Chapter Five

The Pirate Bible and Gospel of the Son of Light and Life

Through faith in the Son, we ‘ave peace with Skipper and be welcomed into Skip’s good standing. Romans 5:1-2

We be raisin’ a cheer in the face o’ our sufferings, fer it be the trials that forge our perseverance, and that perseverance molds us into hearty mates. Aye, from rough seas, storms and tempests, springs the bright beacon of hope and hope of life in the Son be the anchor that never fails us, you may lay ter that. Through Skipper’s Holy Spirit of Truth, he be pourin’ his love into our very hearts, just as he declared. Romans 5:5.

In our darkest hours, when we be as good as dead under the weight of the pirate’s curse and helpless ter lend ourselves a hand. It be the Son who gave his life for ours and rescued us from Davy Jones. It be through the shed blood of the Son that we be saved from the fury of Skipper. Because of the Son’s sacrifice on the main mast, we ‘ave been brought back into good graces with Skipper. That be why arrrr not only shipmates of the Son but regarded as Skipper’s own kin, his beloved children. Romans 5:7-9, 11

Death, me hearties, snuck aboard thanks ter Adam’s sin and sin brought upon all crew the pirate’s curse. Afore Skipper bestowed upon us his Covenant Code, that pirate’s curse sentenced a feller ter walk the plank and yet Skipper held back execution of the sentence of death, fer he deals fairly with all. That be why, mates, all who embrace the grace offered by Skipper receive a full measure of righteousness through the Son, along with the promise of eternal life. Romans 5:12-13, 16-17

Skip’s Covenant Code be issued ter the crew in order ter make fellers know the nature and character of Skip. Aye, in knowing ’bout what Skip expects from us, we proved we could not keep ter the Code, but by thunder at least we now know what Skip expects from all crew. While that Covenant Code be pointin’ folks in the right direction fer leading an upright life, truth be told, none can fully measure up to its standards. Fer this reason those who wish ter reach port safely ought ter welcome into thar hearts the Son and receive his Holy Spirit of Truth. Do this and we ‘ill be a crew in tip top shape, you may lay ter that. Romans 5:20-21

Romans Chapter Eight

The Pirate Bible and Gospel of the Son of Light and Life

Skipper works fer the good of those who love him, who keep ter his Code. Those who love him bring about good, not evil, fer this be his grand purpose. Romans 8:28

Those Skipper calls into her crew be destined ter be conformed into the likeness of his Son, and this among many brothers and sisters of the sea. We be united in spirit, and sail with the one Great Wind. The Wind and Son guide us through treacherous waters. We be forgiven of our debts, saved from our sins, turned from our wicked ways, and glorified as true blue crew. Romans 8:29-30

Who can stand against us? Aye, not a soul, you may lay ter that, fer we ‘ave the Wind at our backs and within us, sending us forth like ship bound fer an island filled with treasure. We be in the Son, and the Son be in us and upon us. Will Skipper not only give us all the necessary booty necessary fer this voyage? Who will bring a charge against this crew? Mark my word, not a soul. It be Skipper who saves, justifies, makes us righteous, holy, and glorifies us. Romans 8:29-33

Sail on, mate. We be bound fer glory.