Grow Up on the Pure Spiritual Milk of Skipper’s Good Words

Finding Jesus — 1 Peter 2:1-5

1 Peter 2-1-5Banish all malice and deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind.

Come ter the living Stone, the living Stone rejected by men, but chosen by Skipper ter be a tested stone and a precious cornerstone fer a firm foundation. The one who puts their trust in the living Stone ‘ill never be dismayed, surprised, or put ter shame.

“Hear the word of Skipper, ye scoffers.” (Isaiah 29:14)

“Mockers of Skipper ‘ill disappear, ye may lay ter that.” (Isaiah 29:20)

Grow up! Make it yer task ter crave pure spiritual milk.

Now that ye ‘ave tasted and know Skipper be good and full of love, ye ‘ill do a good work if ye make righteousness the plumb line of yer spiritual house.

  • Banish all malice.
  • Banish all deceit.
  • Banish all conceit.
  • Banish all hypocrisy.
  • Banish all envy.
  • Banish all slander.
  • Banish all boasting.
  • Banish all lying.
  • Banish all falsehood.
  • Banish all mocking.
  • Banish all scoffing.

Build ye self up on the firm foundation of the living Stone and grow up on the pure spiritual milk of Skipper’s good words. 

  • Reflect the holiness of Skipper ter others.
  • Intercede fer others.
  • Represent Skipper ter others.
  • Offer yer bodies ter Skipper.
  • Offer yer possessions, money, time, talents, gifts, services, and always what is good and not evil.

Do this and the things ye done in the name of Skipper ‘ill stand fer all eternity.

Ye Have Been Born Again With Imperishable Seed

Finding Jesus — 1 Peter 1:13-25

1 Peter 1-13-25You have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. – 1 Peter 1:23 (1 Peter 1:22-25)

Tha word of Skipper stands fer all time. Through tha living and enduring word of Skipper, ye ‘ave been born from imperishable seed. And if ye ‘ave been born anew with tha seed that comes through tha living and enduring word of Skipper. As such, behave as sound crew.

  1. Ready yer minds fer action, me hearties!
  2. Be self-controlled, like a savvy sailor in the midst of a storm.
  3. Place yer hope fully on the grace of the Son. His grace ‘ill steer ye through treacherous seas.
  4. Don’ be shaped by the evil desires ye had when ye whar ignorant. Back then ye be like a ship lost without a compass. Know ye know the Son’s ways, so set yer sails as such.
  5. Be holy in all yer doings, me hearties! When ye need a good rinsing, pray this prayer:

    “Lord, when I’m not holy, have yer Spirit point out where I be fallin’ short. Change me ter be holy. Give me yer mind. Reshape me into yer image. Amen.”

  6. Live in reverent fear of Skipper. He made the heavens and earth, sea and stars. He made fellers in his image. Ne’er ferget: he gives life and he takes life. He can sweep us overboard with the flick of his finger or a gust of wind.
  7. Obey the truth, fer Skipper’s words are as true as the North Star. The Son is Truth. When ye obey the truth, when ye honor and believe Skipper’s word.The truth in his words purifies ye like a deep dip in the sea and a fresh scubbin of lye soap.
  8. Love all in Skipper’s crew deeply. Love from yer heart. Be real in love. If ye find it hard ter show love ter a feller or lass, pray this prayer:

    “Lord, I’ve been born again by yer imperishable seed. This was done through the living and enduring word of you. Yer word stands forever. Yer words are life. I do not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from yer mouth. Place in me the love fer others that you ‘ave fer ’em. Amen!”

Ne’er ferget: ye whar redeemed from yer empty life by tha precious blood of tha Son, a lamb without blemish. Tha Son ne’re broke a one of Skipper’s commands. He be perfect in all he done. Through his Holy Ghost of Truth we kin also live a full life and be perfect as Skipper be perfect.

This be our charge from tha Son: “Go! Be perfect through tha indwelling power of my Holy Ghost of Truth.” (Matthew 5:48)

Go, then, and grow from a holy seed in ter that perfect character of tha Son.

It Not Be Tha Source of Tha Water That Matters, but Tha Source of Tha Spirit

Finding Jesus

It Not Be Tha Source of Tha Water but, Tha Source of Tha Spirit That Matters

Jesus was baptized by John in the Jordan. Just as Jesus was coming up out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove – Matthew 3:16

Tha Holy Ghost of Truth comes ter us with both force and tha touch of a birds feather. Heaven be torn open on our account. It be like a hole carved in a starless night sky when a dot of light shines through. That light grows brighter as tha hole widens until its brilliance settles on ya. Though ya kin not feel tha light, ya know it be on ya.

John baptized his first cousin Jesus in a river. Wharn’t nothing special ‘bout tha water. Any old creek or pond would ‘ave suited tha purpose. It be tha source of tha Spirt that gave Jesus heavenly power.

Thar be all manner of spirits roaming about and any one of them kin alight on a feller.

One of tha first spirits ya find at work in tha world be that spirit of doubt. This be tha one tha devil laid on Eve in that Garden. Ya kin always tell tha spirit of doubt ‘cause it speaks tha phrase “if God” followed soon after with “then why?” Fer example:

“If Skipper be real, why thar be evil?”

“If Skipper loves us, how come he lets bad things happen?”

“If Skipper be all powerful, how come he didn’t heal (fill in tha blank) ?”

“If Skipper be real how come he didn’t answer my prayer?”

“If Skipper be perfect how come I be tha way I am?”

Once tha devil plants tha spirit of doubt in us, we take holt and make all sorts of excuses fer why Skipper not be real and powerful and all loving and such.

When ya hear “If God . . . then why?” that be tha spirit of doubt speaking, yer may lay ter that.

Tha disciple Thomas suffered from tha spirit of doubt. (John 20:25)
Our close friends might have a spirit of doubt.

Tha crowds that followed tha Son suffered from tha spirit of doubt. (John 6:30)
Them in our community might have a spirit of doubt.

Tha Son’s neighbors suffered from tha spirit of doubt. (John 4:48)
Our neighbors might have a spirit of doubt.

Tha Pharisees and teachers of Law suffered from tha spirit of doubt. (Matthew 12:38-40)
Tha leaders, teachers, and preachers in our church might have a spirit of doubt.

Tha Son’s own brothers suffered from tha spirit of doubt. (John 7:5)
Them in our family might have a spirit of doubt.

If ya ever hear a feller write or say or preach that doubting tha Son and Skipper be a good thing, run from that teaching fast as ya kin. Feller who promotes doubt and encourages folks ter question tha authority of Skipper, his words, and his perfect plan fer salvation be doing tha devil’s work, ya may lay ter that.

Be baptized with water.

Be baptized with Skipper’s Holy Ghost of Truth.

And if ya be baptized but still doubt, then ya kin be sure thar be a spirt of doubt oppressing ya. Cast it out by getting in ter Skipper’s word. When ya read Skipper’s Code of Conduct, tha Holy Ghost of Truth ‘ill battle against tha spirit of doubt. “Truly I tell you,” says tha Son, “if you have faith and do not doubt, it will be done.” (Matthew 21:21)

Fear be tha descendent of doubt.

Faith be tha descendent of belief.

Ya reap what ya sow.

Sow belief in Skip and his words and ya ‘ill be able ter live without fear of what man kin do ter ya, of this ya kin be sure.

How Der Ya Read that water, Mate?

Finding Jesus

How Der Ya Read It, Mate?

“What is written in the Law?” Jesus asked. “How do you read it?”- Luke 10:26-28

What be written in Skipper’s Code of Conduct? This be a question ever feller must answer.

Now if ya hain’t ne’er read Skipper’s Code of Conduct it be a might hard ter give an answer. Then tha question be: how come ya hain’t? Doth ya lack a copy of Skipper’s words? If so, get yer self a copy. Tha treasures of the Kingdom of Heaven be in that book, though only a few find ‘em. A good many folks be so content with tha life they be living that finding Skipper’s treasured prizes not be a thing that comes ter thar mind. So that be issue one: having yer own copy of Skipper’s words.

Issue two be reading. A good many folks who ‘ave a copy of Skipper’s Code of Conduct refuse ter crack tha book. They think that ‘aving a copy on a bookshelf be like owning some magic talisman–that ‘ill bring ‘em good luck and protection by jest being gathering dust. Skipper’s words not work like that.

Ya gots ger get in ter Skipper’s words be fer his words kin get in ter ya.

Ya ‘ave ter read with that intensity of a feller trying ter fathom tha depths of a narrow and treacherous channel slicing through a reef. One wrong read and ya might grind tha keel on sharp coral and shipwreck yer vessel. Here be a simple pattern and example fer reading any of Skipper’s words.

HOW do you read the Law?

How DO you read the Law?

How do YOU read the Law?

How do you READ the Law?

How do you read THE Law?

How do you read the LAW?

Putting tha emphasis over each word of a question or command of Skip’s be like moving a magnifying glass over a chart. Such intensity and enlarged examination brings in ter focus tha perils of that particular passage and tha prudent course ya must sail. Tha Holy Ghost of Truth be yer magnifying glass. Tha Son’s Spirit knows what each word means fer each feller on each day. Some days ya ‘ill spy one thing ya ne’er seen before, next day ya ‘ill spy ah nudder.

Thing be, ya ‘ill ne’er get ter tha hidden treasures of Skipper’s words, until ya get tha Holy Ghost of Truth in ya.

Get Skip’s Spirit. Read his words. Then believe and obey. If ya stick ter Skipper’s Code he ‘ill ne’er steer ya wrong, ya may lay ter that.

Why Must the United Methodist Church Split Over the LGBT Issue?

UMC Split — Traditionalist Methodist Questions and Answers

Lubber OpinionLubber Opinion

The views and opinions expressed by this lubber do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of the crew. Reader discretion be advised. – Staff


Question: Why Must the United Methodist Church Split Over the LGBT Issue?

Answer: Great question. Many Methodist have asked why those who support the LGBT community and want to preserve an inclusive nature within the United Methodist Church are at odds with those who oppose same-sex marriage and the ordination of gay clergy. Before answering, I thought it might be helpful to look at the UMC Book of Discipline.

Article IV of the UMC Book of Discipline states: “We believe the Holy Bible, Old and New Testaments, reveals the Word of God so far as it is necessary for our salvation. It is to be received through the Holy Spirit as the true rule and guide for faith and practice. Whatever is not revealed in or established by the Holy Scriptures is not to be made an article of faith nor is it to be taught as essential to salvation.”

Regarding Scripture, the UMC Book of Discipline states: United Methodists share with other Christians the conviction that Scripture is the primary source and criterion for Christian doctrine. The Bible is sacred canon for Christian people. We interpret individual texts in light of their place in the Bible as a whole.

Article VI—of the UMC Book of Discipline states: “The Old Testament is not contrary to the New; for both in the Old and New Testament everlasting life is offered to mankind by Christ, who is the only Mediator between God and man, being both God and Man. Although the law given from God by Moses as touching ceremonies and rites does not bind Christians, nor ought the civil precepts thereof of necessity be received in any commonwealth; yet notwithstanding, no Christian whatsoever is free from the obedience of the commandments which are called moral.”

The split within the United Methodist Church, while focused on moral issues regarding sexuality, is actually rooted in two diverse views of Scripture. The Traditionalists hold that the Bible is God’s living and final authoritative word on matters covered in Scripture. Progressives hold to the statement in the UMC Discipline that says, “We interpret individual texts in light of their place in the Bible as a whole.” Since the Law and Prophets were written at a time when women had few rights, slavery was condoned, polygamy among God’s people was acceptable (though marriage between one man and one woman was God’s stated preference), Progressives contend that sexual orientation was never correctly addressed in Scripture. If love is love and love among two members of the same sex is something God created, Progressives asks, how can it be wrong?

Traditionalist counter that if sins listed in the Bible are no longer considered sins and if acts in the Bible that God called “grievous, bad, detestable” are now “right and loving,” then all aspects of the Bible are called into question: including that Jesus is the son of God and is, in fact, God himself.

In the last chapter of the Bible, Revelation 22, Jesus says, “Outside are the dogs (not literal dogs, but the morally impure), those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.” These are the ones Jesus says will not have the right to the tree of life and may not go through the gates into the new city.

For Progressives the split is over the issue of love as they define love. For Traditionalist the split is over obedience to God’s word and God’s instructions of how we are to live our lives. Traditionalist argue that there is power in God’s word and that the spirit of Jesus can transform everyone who receives him. Progressives argue we are all God’s children, he made us male, female and male-female-combined, and he loves us as we are.

The split will not resolve these two opposing views, but it will give both factions the opportunity to form community and worship God and Jesus as they see fit.

Must “Traditionalist” Leave UMC

UMC Split — Traditionalist Methodist Questions and Answers

Lubber OpinionLubber Opinion

The views and opinions expressed by this lubber do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of the crew. Reader discretion be advised. – Staff


Question: Must “Traditionalist” Leave UMC?

Answer: Great question. Many Methodist have asked why those who support the teachings of John Wesley and believe the word of God be the ones “forced out” of the U.S. UMC rather than those who deny the authority of God and his word. Before answering, I thought it might be helpful to look at a similar division of property from the Bible.

In Genesis 13:5-13, Abraham and Lot, due to quarreling among the two men’s families and flocks, agree to separate. Abraham lets Lot pick the territory he desires.

Now Lot was moving about with Abram but the land could not support them while they stayed together, for their possessions were so great that they were not able to stay together. Quarreling arose between Abram’s herders and Lot’s. So Abram said to Lot, “Let’s not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herders and mine, for we are close relatives. Is not the whole land before you? Let’s part company. If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right; if you go to the right, I’ll go to the left.”

Lot looked around and saw that the whole plain of the Jordan toward Zoar was well watered, like the garden of the Lord, like the land of Egypt. So Lot chose for himself the whole plain of the Jordan and set out toward the east. The two men parted company.  – Genesis 13:5-13

Currently the United Methodist Church’s global membership stands at 12.5 million. In 2016 UMC’s U.S. membership total fell to 6.95 million people, a decrease of about 1.6 percent from 2015, roughly the same percentage decrease seen in the last two years. U.S. UMC weekly attendance is less than 2.6 million, a 3.3 percent decline. If we assume in 2020 that membership declines have held steady at 1.6 percent, then today there are around 6.5 million U.S. UMC members.

Updated in 2022: In 2020 U.S. UMC membership stood at 6.2 million. Weekly membership attendance stood at 1.7 million. By comparison U.S. SBC weekly attendance was 4.4 million.

Mark Tooley, President of the Institute on Religion and Democracy, believes around 2.5 million will join the conservative church, and 3.5 million will remain in the progressive, liberal UMC denomination.

“Nearly all the 5.5 million overseas members, mostly in Africa, will join the conservative church,” Tooley says, “so the conservative denomination will have about 8 million members globally.”

When it comes to church growth and making disciples of Christ, it’s not the land and location that matters but the God you worship and obey. Follow and serve him only and, be it a desert or a well-watered pasture, his word will not return empty.

One final note: the example sighted above regarding Abraham and Lot is in no way meant to pass judgement on those in the progressive, liberal faction of UMC or to call out those in the LGBT community. I selected that passage simply because it shows how two groups who are in conflict can agree to separate and still love and support one another.