The Sun’s First Ascension “Do not hold on to me.”

The Pirate Gospel: Mark 16:1-8

Early on the first day of the week, while it whar still dark out, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, Mary the mother of Joses, and Salome went ter the tomb. They brought spices so they might anoint the body of Jesus. Only when they seen that the stone be rolled back, they sneaked inter the tomb and spied a young feller dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side. Another mate sat on the left.

But no body lay on the stone slab. Only burial clothes and a folded napkin ter cover a body’s face remained. Trembling with fear, the women bowed thar faces ter the ground.

Then the man on the right, who really whar an angel, said ter the women, “Don’t be alarmed. You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. Why do you look for the living among the dead? See the place where they laid him. Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.'”

Then they remembered his words.

“Go! Say to his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.'”

Bewildered, afraid, and yet filled with joy, the women hurried away from the tomb.

Suddenly the Son met them. “Greetings,” he said. They came ter him, clasped his feet, and worshiped him. Then the Son said ter them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.”

Right away Mary Magdalene ran ter Old Pete and Loving John and told ’em, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!” So Peter and the other disciple started fer the tomb. Once the pair seen it whar empty, they went back ter John Mark’s mum’s home.

Mary remained outside the tomb sobbing. As she wept, she bent over ter look in the tomb one last time.

“Mary,” the Son said ter her.

She wheeled and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!”—which means “Teacher.”

“Do not hold on to me,” said the Sun. “I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'”

Do not hold on to me. That be the charge ter Mary. Only think on this a wee little bit: one week later the Son told Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side.” (John 20:27)-Somehow between that dawn of the day of that empty tomb and days that followed, the Son ascended ter Skipper—or so it seems. Thar be a lot ter unpack in these verses and much controversy over what did and did not happen in the hours and days after his body went missing, but think on this: today, right now, we kin cling ter the feet of the Son without fear of getting shoved away.

If you done some bad stuff, dump it at the feet of the Sun.

If you think you cannot be loved, run ter the Son and let him give you all the loving you need. The Son be dying ter hug ya— died ter give you hugs, in fact.

Question be: will you let ‘im? Will you fall ter the feet of the Son and be loved on by him? If you think thar not be a soul in the world who loves ya, knows ya, cares fer ya, know this: the Son who whar with Skipper when the heavens and earth whar made loves you jest as you are right now—loves you and wants ter make his home with ya.

Please, I beg ya, let him ‘ave his way with you today.

What Be Bothering Ya?

The Pirate Gospel: Mark 16: 9-20

On the evening of the first day of the week, when the disciples whar gathered in John Mark’s mum’s home and the doors whar locked fer fear of the Jewish leaders, the Son came and stood among ’em. The fellers whar startled and frightened, thinking they seen a ghost. This whar the fourth time since the break of dawn that the Son appeared ter folks.

First he showed himself ter Mary Magdalene outside the empty tomb. He looked right at her, locked eyes they did, and called Mary by name.

Second, he met Old Pete, though we know not whar. The Apostle Saul Paul writes, “He appeared to Peter and then to the Twelve.” (1 Corinthians 15:5)

Third, he met Cleopas and his mate on the road ter Emmaus. (Luke 24:33)

Then, in the evening of that first day, he mysteriously appeared in thar midst even with the doors locked, saying ter ’em, “Why are you troubled? Why do doubts rise in your mindsPeace be with you! Look at my hands and my feet. It is I myself! Touch me and see; a ghost does not have flesh and bones, as you see I have.”

Still, because of thar joy and amazement, they would not believe, so he asked them, “Do you have anything here to eat?” They gave him a piece of broiled fish, and he took it and ate it in thar presence.

Again he said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” With that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”

Now some time earlier the Son told Old Pete:

“I tell you, Peter, on this rock I will build my church, and the Gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” (Matthew 16:18-20)

What a responsibility. When the Son gives us his Holy Spirit of Truth, we kin forgive folks thar sin. And if we refuse ter forgive ’em, they be bound as if in chains. (John 20:23, Matthew 18:17, 1 Corinthians 5) Such power hain’t even been given ter angels.

But what do it mean ter forgive the sins of others? Kin we forgive and still keep a ledger of thar grievances?

Think on this a wee little bit: if we ‘ave Skipper’s Holy Spirit of Truth in us then we ave his character, his inclination ter forgive in the same way he forgives, and this be how Skip forgives.

I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins. – Isaiah 43:25

I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more. – Hebrews 8:12

I will remember their sins and lawless deeds no more. – Hebrews 10:17

I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more. – Jeremiah 31:34

Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out. – Acts 3:19

You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. – Mica 7:19

You have cast all my sins behind your back. – Isaiah 38:17

As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. – Psalm 103:11-12

⁠Skip forgives our sins. Skip forgets our sins.

On our own we might not be able ter ferget, but with Skip’s Holy Spirit of Truth and its power ter change our hearts, we kin both forgive and ferget grievances.

Four times on that first day the Son appeared ter folks. And still he needed ter ask:

“Why are you troubled?”
“Why do doubts rise in your minds?”

Might this also be the question the Son asks us most ever’ day: “What be bothering ya? How come you be doubting my love fer ya?”

Be odd fer us ter ‘ave the power ter bind and loosen chains of guilt fer folks and yet we cannot take captive our thoughts of fears and disbelief.

Today make it yer task ter bind yer worries and doubts in the powerful name of the Sun. Make such ideas and fears obey his voice. Use this gift and never abuse it.

How Slow of Heart Be Ya Ter Believe?

The Pirate Gospel: Mark 16:12

Afterward Jesus appeared in a different form to two of them while they whar walking in the country.
Mark 16:12

Late on the first day of the week when some folks reported that the Sun’s body whar missing from his tomb, two fellers set off from Jerusalem fer Emmaus, about a six-mile trek. While walking they happened upon a stranger who asked ’em how come the pair whar so glum.

Cleopas answered, “This fellow Jesus was a prophet. He was powerful in deed and word before God. We had hoped he would redeem Israel.”

The pair then shared how Roman soldiers killed him.

Cleopas added, “But a vision of angels told some of our friends that he was alive.”

The stranger replied, “How foolish you are.”

Now had the stranger stopped right thar we might think he whar scolding the pair fer believing that a feller, any feller, would restore Israel while it whar under the rule of Rome. All of us be ruled by Rome in some way. Could be that the country, province, county, city, or community you live in keeps you hemmed in with rules that restrict yer freedoms. Could be the culture you live in keeps you pressed down so you cannot earn a decent wage, live in a decent home. Rome fell but its remnants remain and still oppress.

But throwing off Rome whar not the point the stranger sought ter make. “Did not the Christ have to suffer such things and then enter his glory?”

Then beginning with Moses and all the prophets, the stranger explained how the Son whar mentioned all through the Skipper’s Covenant Code and how each time he whar brought up, it pointed ter him coming ter save folks from thar sins and restore ’em ter right companionship with Skip.

Nearing the town, and it being ’bout dusk, they begged the stranger ter spend the night with ’em. At first he held back, making like he whar going to walk on inter the wild whar lions and tigers and robbers attacked them who traveled alone. Finally, though, he give in and joined ’em fer a meal at a home. When the stranger broke a piece of bread and give it to ’em, thar eyes whar opened. Right then they seen that the stranger whar the Sun.

Soon as they realized it whar a dead man walking, he vanished right before thar very eyes.

Cleopas blurted out, “Whar not our hearts burning within us while he talked and opened the Scriptures to us?”

This be the power of the Skip’s Covenant Code when revealed by the Holy Spirit of Truth. Our eyes be opened, ears be unstuck, hearts melt. We see the Son as he truly is: the Creator of the heavens and earth in the flesh.

How slow of heart we be ter believe all the prophets ‘ave spoken. We always got questions, doubts, disputes. Only one thing be necessary: ter trust and believe Skipper’s words.

If yer heart be slow, open Skip’s Covenant Code and ask his Holy Spirit of Truth ter reveal the Son ter you through all the stories, all the promises, all the commands, all the bloody, rebellious warring. Reading Skip’s Code with his Holy Spirit of Truth as yer teacher ‘ill near ’bout always get yer heart ter beating fast, and if it don’, ask Skip ter massage yer heart till it be tender enough ter his touch ter near ’bout break at the thought that his very Son died so you could live with the Father in Paradise.

A Great Deception – A Great Mystery

The Pirate Gospel: Mark 15:46

“He rolled a stone against the entrance of the tomb.”
Mark 15:46
(Mark 15:42-47, Matthew 27:57-61, Luke 23:50-56, John 19:38-42)

Soon as the Son give up his ghost, Joseph from Arimathea, a rich man, offered ter take the body of the Son and bury it. By that point Joseph be a disciple of the Sun, but only in secret ’cause he feared the Jews. Nicodemus, a Pharisee and member of the Sanhedrin, whar also a disciple but like Joseph he feared the Jews in authority. Besides which, both fellers be members of the Ruling Council so they stood ter lose thar positions of power and prominence if thar faith in the Son be found out.

Also, as members of the Council, they had heard the Son say, After three days I will rise again.

Now the writers covering the death of the Son called Joseph a good and upright feller. But think on this a wee little bit: what if he whar not? What if he and Nicodemus whar lying, conniving, scheming rascals?

Both had protested the decision and actions of the Ruling Council. That put them at odds with the other leaders. If word got ’round that the Son had come out of the grave, then folks might turn on the rest of the Council members who had put the Son ter death. Whar that ter happen, why, Joseph and Nicodemus might get plum positions: maybe even be put in charge.

That give ’em motive.

Soon as the Son breathed his last, Joseph went ter Pilate and boldly asked fer the Sun’s body, got permission, and took it down off the cross. Near the place whar the Son whar crucified, thar whar a garden. In that garden Joseph owned a new tomb, one ne’er used, cut inter a rock.

Nicodemus joined him at the empty tomb, bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds’ worth, and anointed the Sun’s body. Then the pair wrapped it in a linen shroud and swaddled the body in strips of linen.

With the sun going down, and Shabbat ’bout ter start, the pair placed the body in the tomb and the pair rolled a big stone in front of the entrance. Then they skedaddled. Only what they did not know whar that Mary Magdalene and Mary, the mother of Joses, whar sitting opposite the tomb spying on ’em.

The next day the chief priests and the Pharisees went ter Pilate. “Sir,” they said, “we remember that while he was still alive that deceiver said, ‘After three days I will rise again.’ So give the order for the tomb to be made secure until the third day. Otherwise, his disciples may come and steal the body and tell the people that he has been raised from the dead. This last deception will be worse than the first.”

“Take a guard,” Pilate replied. “Go! Make the tomb as secure as you know how.” So they went and made the tomb secure by putting Pilate’s seal on the stone and posting some guards.

The morning of the third day, the first day of the week, the guards looked and seen the stone rolled away, the tomb empty, and thar prize corpse missing.

Right then some of ’em went inter the city and reported ter the chief priests ’bout how the body of Jesus whar gone missing and how angels showed up and how an earthquake rolled back the stone over the tomb entrance. Such a farfetched tale seemed unlikely but with the chief priests’ worst fears come true, they met with the elders and devised a plan ter spread a rumor ’bout how body snatchers stole the Sun.

Ter the guards on duty they said, “You are to say, ‘His disciples came during the night and stole him away while we whar asleep.’ If this report gets to the governor, we will satisfy him and keep you out of trouble.” Ter make sure the guards stuck ter the story, they gave ’em a large sum of money.

So the soldiers took the money and did as they whar instructed. Ter this very day this tale be widely circulated among the Jews.

Only think on this a wee little bit: if the chief priests and the Pharisees wanted ter pass off a lie, it would be a good deal easier ter claim that thar ne’er whar a body in the tomb: that the whole burial ordeal be a farce.

Joseph and Nicodemus went ter the tomb near dusk alone—or so they claimed.

Mary Magdalene, a woman who once had seven demons in her, and Mary the mother of Joses, seen ’em put that body in the tomb—or so they claimed.

Any good barrister could fire so many holes inter thar accounts as ter sink the tale.

Which be easier ter believe?

That some disciples showed up in the dark of night at that tomb, rolled back a large stone that took two fellers to put in place, snuck inside, undressed a dead man, folded his shroud and linen wraps and placed ’em neatly on the slab, hoisted up the body of a man, and marched out without waking up Roman guards who be trained ter, you know, guard stuff?

Or . . .

That two fellers ne’er put a body in that tomb in the first place, but only claimed they did?

That Mary Magdalene and the other Mary hated Rome and the religious fellers so much that they lied ’bout seeing the Sun’s body placed in that tomb?

Or . . .

That Skipper raised his Son on the third day like the Son claimed would happen?

Thar be three ways this tale goes down: body snatchers smarter than Roman guards, pallbearers and witnesses perpetrating a fraud, or the Son rose from the dead and come out of the tomb.

How you come down on this tale ‘ill no doubt determine if yer body stays in the grave or sits up and walks out when the Son calls you by name on the great day of judgment.

Faith . . . Belief . . . Rewards . . .

“Without faith it is impossible to please God because anyone who approaches Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.” (Hebrews 11:6)

Will We Come and Be a Part of The Groom’s Wedding Party?

The Pirate Gospel: Mark 2:18

“How is it that John’s disciples and the disciples of the Pharisees are fasting, but yours are not?” – (Mark 2:18-21)

John’s disciples fasted. The Pharisees’ disciples fasted. The Son’s disciples feasted.

Some smart religious fellers came ter the Son and asked, “How is it that John’s disciples and the disciples of the Pharisees are fasting, but yours are not?”

The Son answered:

“The groom’s party eats well at the wedding. Wine flows, fancy food is brought out. All eat as much as they like, for the wedding feast is a time for celebrating. Now is such a time. I am the groom. Those who come to me celebrate with me. Only later, after I have gone, will they recall the good times we enjoyed and mourn. Then they will fast.”

Seeing as how many still be confused by the Son’s talk of weddings, he went on ter explain how the son of Skipper be like a new patch sown on ter a garment. The Son’s Spirit be like a new robe and not some simply some new patch ter be sown onto yer old self. If we try ter simply patch up our old flesh, we ‘ill make the tear worse. Worse, we ‘ill you feel worse, fer he alone can clothe us in new garb that fits us ter perfection.

In the same way Adam and Eve needed new garments ter cover their nakedness, so we need the Son’s new robe of righteousness ter cover our shameful self. Simply putting a patch of fig leaves over our privates ‘ill not do the trick.

Later the Son told the story of a king who came in ter visit the guests at his banquet. When the king seen a feller who whar not wearing wedding clothes he asked, “How did you get in here without wedding clothes?’ The man stood speechless. The king then told his attendants, “Tie him hand and foot, and throw him into the darkness.” In the streets outside the halls of the wedding hall thar ‘ill be weeping and gnashing of teeth. (Matthew 22: 11-13)

If we ‘ill accept the Son’s offer ter be dressed in his rob of righteousness we need not worry ’bout getting tossed. When we put on the Son, we get ter dine with the groom.

All be invited. Question be: will we accept the groom’s invite ter his wedding?

Parroting the Prayers of Skip’s CrewParroting the Prayers of Skip’s Crew

“Remember, Lord, how I have tried to walk before you faithfully and with my whole heart’s devotion. Though at times I have stumbled, my desire is do what is good in your eyes. I ask that your Spirit fill me so that by your strength and not in my weak flesh do I serve you alone.” (2 Kings 20:3)

Pirate Facts

Them captured by pirates faced a bleak future. Some pirates whar merciful and, after robbing fellers and lasses, put ’em ashore on a deserted isle. Other pirates entertained thar captives as guests until a ransom whar paid. Some gangs do the same even ter this day.

Family Time With Jesus

The Pirate Gospel: Mark 2:17

“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.” – Jesus (Mark 2:13-17)

The Son went out ter the lake. Like always a large crowd came ter Skipper’s son and he began ter teach folks. Whilst walking about, he saw Levi, the son of Alphaeus, sitting at the tax collector’s booth. Most likely this whar a toll booth guarded by one or more Roman soldiers, fer back then the route from Damascus through Capernaum ter the sea whar a popular route.

“Follow me,” the Son called ter Levi. Right off Levi stopped collecting taxes, left his station, and followed the Son.

Sometime later, while the Son and his disciple whar enjoying dinner at Levi’s home, many other tax collectors and “sinners” showed up. “Sinners” be folks who refuse ter follow Skip’s Code of Conduct — fellers and lasses who make it thar purpose ter violate Skipper’s divine law and show disrespect ter Skipper. Though they know right from wrong and kin read Skipper’s good words, they choose ter be reprobates and rebells bent on mutinous behavior. It be fer sinners that the Son came, fer we all be murdering, lying, thieving scoundrels who need ter change our ways.  These whar the folks the Son be drinkin’ and eatin’ and hangin’ with on this particular evening.

When the teachers of the law and the Pharisees seen the crowd seated ’round the Son, they asked his disciples: “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?”

Now ya might think it odd they did not ask the Son this question. Could be by this point they knowed him ter be smarter than ’em and they did not wish ter get into a debate with a feller who seemed ter know more ’bout Skip’s Code than they knowed.

On hearing such mumbling, the Son said ter these smart religious fellers, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”

Right off ’em smart religious fellers might ‘ave picked up on the sharp humor in the Son’s words, fer by implying that they be “righteous,” the Son be suggesting they be “good” and not needing ter be made clean: and well they knew that none be good but Skipper.

But thar whar a second, more important, message in the Son’s word: a warning fer all of us. The Son be suggesting that each us be a sinner who needs ter repent of sumpin. If we think different, then we hain’t looked deep enough inter our hearts. If we think ourself healthy and whole and in no need of healing, we ‘ill miss out on dining with the Sun and getting set right with Skipper.

If you know yerself ter be sick in spirit, broken in body, a corrupt lying, thieving, reprobate, then accept the Son’s invitation ter enjoy a meal in his kingdom. Dare ter dine with the one who desires fer you to ‘ave life and ‘ave it ter the full. The Son accepts us just as we come, but he ne’er leaves us in our foul, polluted state. No indeed, fer he wishes ter call us friends, his family, his followers. Question be, will we come out of the darkness and inter the Son’s light and love?

Parroting the Prayers of Skip’s CrewParroting the Prayers of Skip’s Crew

“Lord, our children are a heritage from you, a reward we cannot earn, only enjoy. We ask for your blessing of protection and provision for our children. May we love those in our family in heaven with the same affection we love our own flesh and blood. Amen and amen.” (Psalms 127:3-5)

Pirate Facts

Sailors captured by pirates whar sometimes invited ter join the crew and themselves become pirates. Here the pirates be thinking the captives — who now be crew — might reveal whar a treasure be hidden aboard the captured vessel so as ter share in the loot. Most often if the captives went along with such a devilish scheme they be killed soon as the booty be uncovered.