Slicing and Dicing with Jesus

UMC Split

Slicing and Dicing with Jesus

Do not make the mistake of thinking the Sun come ter bring peace on earth. A good many like ter teach and preach that the Sun wants all ter live in peace, and he does. A good many like ter teach and preach that the Sun wants all in his Body ter live in peace and unity, and he does.

But the Sun also warned he would be a divisive figure—that his words and commands whar designed ter sort out those who be with him and those who be agin him.

“I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. I have come to turn

  • a son against his father
  • a daughter against her mother
  • a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law

A man’s enemies will be members of his own household. ” – Jesus (Luke 12:53)

The Sun reminds us that long ago it whar prophesied that his coming would be the undoing of peace among families, even church families.

For a son dishonors his father, a daughter rises up against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law— a man’s enemies are the members of his own household. (Micah 7:6)

The Sun comes not simply ter take away peace, but ter start a ruckus.

“I have come to bring fire on the earth and I wish it were already kindled!” – Jesus (Luke 12:49)

“Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me. Anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” – Jesus (Matthew 10:37-38)

What string of words in Skip’s Code of Conduct doth ya find offensive? What passage of Skip’s doth ya refuse ter read and believe? Those words of Skip that trips ya up be a trap set by the devil, ya may lay ter that.

What acts of the Sun doth ya find offensive? Be it fergiving yer enemies? Praying fer ’em who hate ya? Selling yer possessions ter care fer the poor? Showing mercy ter ’em who repent and ask fer a second and third chance? Offering grace ter ’em who squandered the last loan ya give ’em? Getting baptized in the same manner the Sun whar baptized? Withholding the blood of the Sun and his body in communion from the unrepentant?

Think on this a wee little bit: anyone who refuses ter go with the Sun ter tha cross is not worthy of him. He calls us ter cast off all, including folks, in order ter obey him, serve him, honor him. 

The Sun created all things (Colossians 1:16) (John 1:3). Heaven and earth, male and female, all God’s law, commandments, promises, and prophecies… ever’ thing good and righteous whar created through the Sun.

The Sun created all things fer himself  (Colossians 1:16). All creation whar made fer the Sun. He is the king of kings and lord of lords. Though the prince of the power of the air, the devil, ‘as dominion over the earth fer a short while longer, the Sun ‘as already defeated that old snake (Revelation 1:18). The devil’s time be coming ter a close, but befer the Sun casts him inter the abyss, that lying rascal seeks ter take as many deceived souls with him as possible.

A split be comin’ and the Sun desires the separating and sorting ter commence (Luke 12:51). Question be, will we go with the Sun or the devil? Will we fall ter the temptation of doubting Skipper’s words, the Sun’s authorship and authority? Will we worship the devil in order ter gain friendship with the world?

Or will we love him with all our body, mind, heart, strength, and soul?

Meditate, Don’t Medicate — Luke 11:34

Jesus’ Authority, Our Healing

Luke 11:34

Yer eyes be the lanterns of yer body (Luke 11:34). When yer eyes take in sights that be worthy of praise and goodness,  that be noble and pure, yer body ‘ill light up and be healthy (Luke 11:35) (Philippians 4:8). Yer mind, body, and soul ‘ill flourish.

But when yer eyes draw in darkness, yer body ‘ill be filled with all manner of unclean spirits. Demons of doubt, discouragement, division, hate, death, violence, lust, perversion, and such take hold of ya (Luke 11:34).

See ter it then that the light within ya be the light of the Sun, not the darkness of the devil (Luke 11:36).

If anything causes ya ter stumble, shut yer eyes ter it. Better ter walk around with yer eyes shut and stump yer toes, than ter ‘ave yer whole body cast inter a place of torment (Matthew 5:29).

As a feller thinks in his heart, so he be (Proverbs 23:7). Therefer, make it yer task ter protect yer heart, fer from yer heart flows the springs of life. (Proverbs 4:23).

Doth ya ‘ave a sour outlook on life? Doth ya feel worried, anxious, fearful? Ya kin be sure this come inter yer body, mind, and heart from the devil of darkness. Cast it out! Tell that lying rascal the devil ter get gone!

The devil be the prince of the power of the air (Ephesians 2:1-3). All his ways be dark and filled with death. Turn him out. Cut him off fer he gets a chance ter speak inter yer heart.

Spend more time in Skip’s words and less on the news of the day.

Spend more time in prayer with Skip and less time reading bawdy books and watching scandalous spectacles and stage performances meant ter titillate. Be careful, little eyes, what ya see, fer what ya take in becomes the seeds of what ya harvest.

Spend more time praising Skip and less criticizing others.

Spend more time thanking Skip fer all he gives ya, even down ter yer next breath, and less complaining ’bout what others done and what ya don’ ‘ave.

If we ‘ill meditate on what be good rather than bad, on Skip rather than the works of the devil, we ‘ill soon find we ‘ave no need ter medicate.

Lord, help us today to turn off the news and shows and songs that glorify evil rather than you. Put within us a desire to read your words, to love your words, to eagerly seek to hear from you each day. Turn our criticism of others, and you, into praise. Turn our complaining into thankfulness. Help us to look on the bright side of things, your pierced side—the side that brings healing and abundant life. If there be anything unworthy, anything you could not look upon, help us to look away and shut our eyes to it. Amen.

Side With Skip in All Matters and Watch the Devil Run — Luke 11:14-28

Jesus’ Authority, Our Healing

Luke 11:14-28

One day the Sun happened upon a feller who whar under attack and bound by a mute demon. The chap could not speak, not a word. Taking pity on him, the Sun drove out the mute demon.

A good many think thar afflictions be natural—that thar bodies simply be broken by nature and unless a good doctor or ship’s surgeon kin fix ’em, they be cursed ter live this way fer all thar life. But the Sun says otherwise.

Looking at the folks gathered ’round him the Sun announced, “The kingdom of God has come to you. When someone stronger than Satan attacks and overpowers him, Satan is stripped of his armor and overpowered.”

Though he didn’t come right out and say it, that someone be the Sun.

As evidence in the power of the Sun’s declaration, the chap with the mute spirit spoke: piped up loud, like, and sent tongues ter flapping.

“Satan has been defeated,” the Sun declared, “and those held captive by him are liberated. His spoils are divided.”

Though the Sun defeated Satan ever time while he walked the earth, the fullness of this declaration didn’ come ter fruition until the Sun died on the cross and rose from the grave. In full sight of all, the Sun’s resurrected body demonstrated that Satan no longer holds any power of us. Least ways not if we ‘ave the Sun in us and we be in the Sun.

But some in the crowd grumbled out loud, claiming that the Sun was in league with the devil.

“The one who does not fight with me, fights against me,” the Sun replied. “Those who through apathy and lack of love for their neighbor fight with Satan.”

A good many think that if a body be bound by unclean demons that be of no concern ter us: that if demon spirits take hold and make a feller or lass mute, deaf, blind, sick, lame, leaper, infected… that be perfectly acceptable…. that such simply be the state of things in this fallen world. But the Sun says otherwise.

“Satan’s work will not stand. Satan will not stand. Beelzebub, the prince of demons, is ruined.”

Not once did a demon resist the Sun and win. Ne’er did Satan and his henchmen attack and win while in the presence of the Sun. Healing comes through the Sun. Deliverance from demons comes through the Sun. We only need ter declare that the Sun be more powerful than Satan and believe that declaration.

A woman called out, “Blessed is your mother!”

The Sun replied, “Blessed instead are those who hear the word of my father and obey!”

Skipper says, “By his stripes, by the wounds, lashes, and beating my boy took for you and his death on the cross, you are healed.  (Isaiah 53:5)

Believe it. Declare it ter the devil. Remind him ever’ time he be defeated, stripped of his armor, and his spoils divided—that the devil be a loser and he and his demons ‘ill be captured and cast inter the abyss.

A divided house kin not stand. Neither can a divided mind know the will of Skip. Side with Skip in all matters of faith and belief and watch the devil and his demons run.

Lord, you declared, “Satan has been defeated and those held captive by him are liberated. But the one who does not fight with me, fights against me.”

Oh Lord, may we fight with you and take our stand against the powers of darkness that seek to steal and kill (name those bound by the devil) through demons of sickness, affliction, and injuries. Through our apathy and because we do not love as you love, we allow Satan to attack and destroy our neighbors.

Lord, you declared, “Satan’s work will not stand. Satan will not stand. Beelzebub, the prince of demons, is ruined.”

Not once did a demon resist you and win. Never did Satan and his demons attack and win while in your presence. If we are in you and your righteousness is in us, no demon, no sickness, no unclean spirit can come against us and stand. 

Healing comes through you alone. Deliverance from demons comes through you. We only need to declare your name and believe you have healed us by your stripes.

Therefore we boldly proclaim that (name those who were bound by the devil) are healed! Lord, open their spiritual eyes that they may see the healing you’ve already provided.