Skipper Hates Sin

The Pirate Gospel — Romans Chapter One

Skipper hates sin but loves us. Indeed, he loves us so much he sent his son ter die fer us.

Skipper’s Holy Spirit

The gospel of Skipper came through old sailors blown about by his Spirit. Like great, mysterious wind which no seaman can harness or predict, his Spirit guided those who sailed and whispered his words on breezes. These words now be plainly found in Skip’s Covenant Code. With power, Skipper’s Spirit declared the Son ter be the Son of Light and Life.

Skipper’s Son

Born of King David’s bloodline, with grace and mercy, the Son called some ter be apostles. He now summons all ter embrace through faith the salvation he offers in his name. Obedience comes through faith. Without faith in Skipper, we ‘ill not obey. Through faith in the Son we share in Skipper’s booth and treasures await all who do his will and stand with the Son.

So, me hearties, give each other a boost in faith. Skipper’s Good News be his very power, offerin’ salvation ter all ’em who believe—first ter the Jew, then ter the Gentile.

This Good News be the righteousness of Skipper from Skipper revealed by Skipper through faith in Him. The righteous live by faith, not fear, and not by filthy fleshy fishy desires.

Skipper Hates Sin

If any think otherwise, consider this warning: the wrath of Skipper be revealed against all who oppose him. We know this because the wickedness of men seek ter constrain his truth by thar vile, wicked acts. They lie ’bout Skipper’s word, commands, blessings, promises, and declare sin ter be of no account.

What may be known ’bout Skipper be plain ter all because Skipper makes it plain as day and night. Therefore, none ‘ave an excuse. Even though they know all this, they refuse ter honor Skipper or express gratitude ter him. Instead, men and women be futile in thar thinking and thar hearts be dark as Davy Jones. Such folks claim to be wise and yet they be lost at sea. They be on a course that ‘ill shipwreck thar soul, you may lay ter that.

Such reprobates ‘ave exchange the glory of Skipper fer idols. They worship land and sea and birds and animals and naked statues of men and women. As such Skipper lets thar sinful desires ‘ave thar way with ’em.

Such sinful cravings lead ter sexual perversion, shameful lusts, and a depraved mind. As such they be filled with ever’ sort of evil, greed, and vice. They be overcome by envy, murder, strife, deceit, and malice. They be insolent, arrogant, boastful, gossips who slander others and hate Skipper. They disobey thar parents and refuse ter abide by Skipper’s Covenant Code.

Although they know in thar hearts that acting in such a fashion leads ter walking the plank or a short drop with a sudden stop, they not only engage in such vile deeds but cheer on others who practice such filth.

I warn you, mates: Steer clear of such crew, fer if you fall in among ’em, they ‘ill drag you down ter Davy Jones.