Tag Archives: Gospel bible lessons

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Forty Days of Testing

The Pirate Gospel: Mark 1:12

Immediately the Spirit brought (sent) Him out into the wilderness. (Mark 1:12)

Forty days be long spell ter go without food and water. Forty days be long spell ter go without spying another feller or lass who ‘ill offer a kind word or bite ter eat. After forty days a feller might think that Skipper done give up on him.

But Skip ne’er gives up on us.

Ter be sure, we kin give up Skip. We kin harden our hearts ter the place whar we no longer hear his voice or feel his touch. But always Skip be calling ter us—even ter the very end of our days.

Forty Days of Testing

Forty days of testing be a regular thing with Skipper.

Back long ago, when folks seen that Moses whar taking a long time coming down from the mountain, they said, “Come, make us gods who will go before us. As for this fellow Moses who brought us up out of Egypt, we don’t know what has happened to him.”

After they fashioned themselves a whole passel of little gods, they rose early next day and sacrificed burnt offerings ter thar tiny gods. Afterward they sat down ter eat and drink and ter indulge in revelry—which be a fancy way of saying they took drunk and commenced ter ‘aving thar way with one ah nudder in a fashion a body ought not.

That be when Skipper said ter Moses, “You best go down because your people have become corrupt. They have been quick to turn away from what I commanded them.” (Exodus 32:1-8)

How Long Will You Wait On Skipper?

How long will you wait on Skip befer yer time of testing proves too much?

Four days?

Forty days?

Fer a season and no more?

Our Times of Testing Lead ter Blessings

Our times of testing can lead to cleansing, new vision, purging, deliverance, transition and renewal.

  • Skipper caused it ter rain forty days and forty nights when he washed wickedness from the face of the earth. (Genesis 7:12).
  • The twelve spies examined the Promised Land fer forty days before returning with a report. (Numbers 13:25).
  • Goliath taunted Saul’s army fer forty days befer David stepped forwards ter slay that big giant. (1 Samuel 17:16).
  • Elijah fled from Jezebel, traveling forty days and forty nights befer the Lord delivered him ter Mount Horeb.  (1 Kings 19:8).
  • After the Son rose from the grave, he stuck around forty days befer going up inter heaven. (Acts 1:3).

In ever case, those who trusted in the Lord received blessings but first they endured forty days of testing.

If you be in a desert wilderness, examine yer circumstances ter see what Skip be trying ter alter. Doth you need ter be made pure, catch a new vision, purge doubters and doubts from yer midst, be set free of a giant, be delivered from an enemy, transition inter a new role?

Skipper ne’er waste a day on ya. If you be in time of testing, thar be a reason.

Look up, look about, and ask Skip ter show you how come you be out in the wild. Then wait upon the Lord fer the answer.

Parroting the Prayers of Skip’s CrewParroting the Prayers of Skip’s Crew

Lord, you be good ter those who hope in you—ter those who seek you. Give me yer strength ter wait quietly fer yer salvation and deliverance. (Lamentations 3:25-26)

Pirate Facts

“Avast! Avast ye!” be Dutch speak fer “pay attention, mates!” In times of testing, avast ye!

 

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Why Be Baptized?

The Pirate Gospel: Mark 1:9-13

At that time Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. (Mark 1:9)

Skipper’s Son grew up in a region always on edge. Centuries of conflict between one sect and ah nudder, between different beliefs, diverse backgrounds and races and loyalties left folks distrustful of one ah nudder. Bandits roamed about. Zealots terrorized folks. Rome ruled, but due ter its distance from seats of power, much of Galilee remained under the control of whatever local militia might ‘ave the most power. Bribes be expected and beatings the punishment fer them who refused. This be the neighborhood the Son come from.

So it whar a fair question fer Nathanael ter ask, “Can any good thing come from Nazareth?” (John 1:46). It be like asking if anything good kin come from the slums of Bristol.

‘Bout that same time, at age thirty, the son of a carpenter set out from Nazareth with no influence, no followers, and no formal rabbinic teaching. Also, ’em who grew up with him held no expectations that he would amount ter anything.

Only a few know him ter be Skipper’s Son, fathered as it whar by the Holy Spirit, and most dared not speak of it.

Down ter the Jordan River the Son walked. Thar he found his cousin, John the Baptizer, calling folks ter repent, and be washed clean of thar sins. Now the Son didn’ ‘ave ah thing ter be washed clean of. He ne’re committed an infraction. But other folks didn’t’ know this. They seen him as jest another chap clamoring ter fall in step with John the Baptizer.

In order ter set things right from the start, the Son waded in ter the Jordan ter show that being washed clean of our filthy living be the first step towards turning ter Skipper and following him, his commands, and his character.

Why Be Baptized?

Ter day ah good many folks ‘ill make all manner and excuses fer why they don’ need ter be baptized. Folks bathe. Folks shower. Folks frolic in ponds, lakes, rivers, streams, and sea. But they won’ take a dip fer Skip.

Some claim they had water sprinkled on thar head when they was a tiny tot. Only as a tot we kin not recall such an event. The tiny brain of a tot be not large enough ter hold such memories.

Others claim they whar baptized as a youth, but kin not recall how and whar.

Even more claim being baptized be an out-dated way of showing you be a follower of the Son. That such a public showing be of no real benefit ter thar faith.

Only think on this a wee little bit. Doctor Luke writes:

Because they had been baptized by John, all the people, even the tax collectors, when they heard Jesus’ words, acknowledged that God’s way was right.

But because they had not been baptized by John, the Pharisees and the experts in the law rejected God’s purpose for themselves. (Luke 7:29-30)

Why Whar the Son Baptized?

The Son knows Skipper’s ways be right, just, and lead ter life. Though it be a mysterious matter, when we be baptized by water, our spirit aligns with Skipper’s Holy Spirit and in doing so we also align with Skip’s ways.

If the Son, Skipper’s only boy, the one fathered by the Holy Spirit thought it worth his time ter take a dip, could it not be a thing we ought ter do as well? The Son humbled himself like the common folks gathered on the banks of Jordan. Doth we think ourselves more high and mighty than the Son?

What Benefits Be Thar from Baptism?

The Son seen the heavens opening. Now that be an odd thing ter see in it self, but right after the heaven’s split, Skipper’s Holy Spirit of Truth descended upon Son in the way a dove might come ter alight on a branch.

A voice came from the heavens: “You are My beloved Son. In You I am well pleased.”

Would you like ter see inter heaven? Catch a glimpse of the heavenly realm? ‘Ave Skipper’s Holy Spirit of Truth come upon you in such a clear and obvious manner that thar ne’er be any doubt you ‘ave been washed clean of yer sins? Would you like ter receive Skipper’s purpose fer yer life and know his ways?

Would you like ter hear Skipper say ’bout ya, “You are My beloved one. In You I am well pleased.”

Repent and Be Baptized

‘Ave you done the first things first? Or did you head off on yer walk with the Son without taking the steps he took at the start?

We be called ter follow the Son, not get ahead of him. If you wish ter walk with the Son start at the start with repentance and baptism in water and Spirit. Start now from whatever hood you come from. And should ah feller or lass ever say, “you ‘ill ne’er amount ter anything. Yer jest a nobody.” don’ you believe it fer a second. Once you be in the family of Skipper you be his beloved one and always under his care and protection.

Be baptized in ter the Son and you ‘ill become Skipper’s child. If you ne’re do anything else, that right thar be a right fair accomplishment. Take a dip fer Skip. Then sail on, brothers and sisters and tell others ’bout the Son and Skipper.

Parroting the Prayers of Skip’s CrewParroting the Prayers of Skip’s Crew

Lord, with humility, teach me to walk in your authority. (Psalm 8:1)

Pirate Fact

“Keelhauling” be a form of punishment whar by a length of rope would be tied ’round and under the ship’s hull. The law breaker of the ship’s rules then be tied ter the rope and tossed in ter the sea. Back and forth, up and down the feller goes ’till he be drowned dead or cut ter shreds by barnacles. Even pirates know thar be punishment fer breaking the captain’s code of conduct and yet a good many think nothing of breaking Skippers Code of Conduct.

Our baptism be a symbolic way of acknowledging we deserved ter be keelhauled fer our offenses—killed fer breaking Skippers Code of Conduct. The Good News is, once we be baptized (keelhauled), we ne’er need fear the sting of death, fer in the Son we ‘ave life and ‘ave it ter the full.

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In Tha Same Way Tha Son Warms Ya With His Mercy, Warm Others With Mercy — Jude 21-25

UMC Split

Lubber OpinionLubber Opinion

The views and opinions expressed by this lubber do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of the crew. Reader discretion be advised. – Staff

Keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life. – Jude 21

Dear mates, build yerself up in yer most holy faith and pray in tha Holy Ghost of Truth at all times. Keep yerself in Skipper’s love. If ya committed a grievous offense, turn towards tha Son, confess what ya done, ask fer his fergivness and wait fer tha mercy of tha Son ter wrap itself around ya like a heavy wool coat.

In tha same way tha Son warms ya with his mercy, warm others with mercy—especially them with doubt. If they doubt tha Son ever was: show mercy. If they doubt Skipper be real: show mercy. If they doubt Skipper’s Code of Conduct be his commands fer how ter carry yerself as one in his crew: show mercy.

By showing mercy towards them who doubt, ya may snatch a feller or two from that eternal fire than never ends. Thank on it this way: mercy be a long, sturdy rope ya kin toss ter a body that be floundering in tha sea. Tha more mercy ropes ya kin toss, tha better odds a feller might have ter grab a holt and be saved.

But when ya tossing them ropes of mercy ter them floundering about, do so with fear so as not ter slip and fall overboard yerself. Many a crew member has jumped in ter tha sea ter save a mate only ter get swept away by currents of sin.

Skipper be able ter keep ya from falling, only it be on ya ter be alert and watch yer stance and steps.

To tha only Skipper thar be and ter tha Son, tha only Savior thar ever ‘ill be, a hearty salute. As crew and mates we give all respect, honor, and praise, ‘cause Skip and his Son be full of all glory majesty, authority, and power. 

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In Tha Last Days Thar ‘ill Be Scoffers and Mockers—Jude 11-19

UMC Split

Lubber OpinionLubber Opinion

The views and opinions expressed by this lubber do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of the crew. Reader discretion be advised. – Staff

“In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.” – Jude 18

In tha last days, them last times, thar ‘ill be scoffers. Fellers filled with lust ‘ill follow thar own ungodly, selfish desires. Simon Peter warned ‘bout such mockers when he wrote: “In the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires.” So it not just be tha earthly brother of tha Son, Jude, who says such things, but them who walked and talked and learned from tha Son while he be on earth.

Such false teachers pervert tha grace of Skipper.

Fellers like these be selfish and follow tha way of Cain and look out fer thar own self, giving no thought ter how thar egregious  behavior corrupts others.

They be lovers of money and follow tha way and teachings of Balaam, tempting others ter commit sexual sin. Tha Son said as much when he wrote to some leaders of a church and warned: “I hold this against you. You hold to the teachings of Balaam and entice others to commit sexual immorality and eat food sacrificed to idols.” (Revelation of Christ 2:14)

Moses himself warned ‘bout such reprobates: “These women were the ones who followed Balaam’s advice and were the means of turning the Israelites away from the Lord. ” (Numbers 31:16)

Them be harsh words, but Skipper takes a tough stand on sexual sin.

Fellers like these be blemishes when tha crew gathers fer instruction, fellership, and fer singings songs and praising Skipper. They feed themselves first and last. Like a rabid dog, they foam at the mouth. Thar words be muddy muck and tha blackest darkness be reserved fer such rascals.

Fellers like these be ungodly good-fer-nothing scoundrels, who commit ungodly acts in ungodly ways and use harsh words against them who stand with Skipper and his words of instruction. Fellers like these be ungodly sinners who speak vile words against Skipper.

Fellers like these be grumblers, finding fault with ever thing and ever one who sticks ter Skippers Code of Conduct. Instead of following tha Son, as they claim they be doing, they set a course fer their own evil desires. They boast ‘bout themselves.

Fellers like these flatter others fer thar own advantage, but they do not stick ter Skipper’s Code of Conduct and they don’ ‘ave Skipper’s Holy Ghost of Truth in ’em, ya may lay ter that.

Give a wide berth ter such rogues in tha same way ya might when rounding a headland, else ya may wreck yer faith on thar reefs of treachery.

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The Lord Loves the Contrite in Spirit

Isaiah 66:2

The Lord Loves the Contrite in Spirit

The Lord loves the humble.

The Lord loves the contrite in spirit.

The Lord loves those who tremble at his words.

(Isaiah 66:2)

Lord, show me my sin. Help me ter see the scruffiness of my actions with the spyglass vision ya use. Well I know when I see myself the way you spy me, my spirit ‘ill break and sorrow fer what I done ‘ill drive me ter my knees. In humility I ask ya ter inspect me from the tip of my mast ter the bottom of my keel. Point out ter me my barnacles and rot so I ‘ill beg you ter fix me good as new.

Yer words clap with the power of thunder, this well I know. Tremble I do when you speak harsh words ter me. Beg you I do, Lord, be gentle with this old soul. If not, my feeble heart ‘ill fail.

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Yer Fruit Comes From the Root in Ya

Sow Seeds From Skip's Holy Spirit of Truth, Not Seeds From Yer Carnal Flesh

Yer Fruit Comes From the Root in Ya

Think on these words of Saul Paul a wee little bit:

The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. (Galatians 5:6)

Only do not use your freedom in Christ to indulge the sinful nature of your flesh. Instead serve one another humbly in love. (Galatians 5:13)

All of God’s law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Galatians 5:14)

Know this: if you continue to bite and devour each other, you will be destroyed by each other. (Galatians 5:15)

With these wise words from Saul Paul, and the Son as our guide and example, make it yer task ter live by the Holy Spirit of Truth. If ya do this, ya ‘ill not gratify the sinful nature of the flesh. Ya may lay ter this: the sinful nature of the flesh fights agin the Holy Spirit of Truth. If ya live by Skip’s Spirit you no longer be under the curse of his Code of Conduct with its requirements ter obey ever single law in order ter be saved.

Now if ya not be sure which spirit ya following, look at the fruit ya be producing.

The spirit of the flesh produces a harvest of sexual immorality, impurity, drunkenness, debauchery, idol worship, witchcraft and devil worship, hatred, discord, jealousy, fits and fists of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, envy, orgies and the like. Of this ya kin be sure: those who live in such a manner ‘ill not inherit Skip’s kingdom.

The spirit of Skip produces a harvest of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness ter Skip and his Son, gentleness and self-control — humility, righteousness, truth-led living, compassion, fergivenss, thankfulness and purity. (Ephesians 4:2, Colossians 3:12-15, 2 Corinthians 6:6) Those who sow ter please the Holy Spirit of Truth ‘ill, from the Spirit, reap eternal life.

Should ya spy a mate living by the spirit of the flesh restore him gently, ne’er harshly.

Finally, do not become weary doing good ter all, especially them who be in Skip’s crew. In this way we kin encourage and build up Skip’s crew. If we ‘ill deal with the root of sin in our flesh, we ‘ill harvest good fruit.

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Accept This Gift From God

Ecclesiastes 5:19

Accept This Gift From God

Wealth and possessions, this is a gift from God. The ability to enjoy wealth and possessions, to accept our lot and plot, to be happy in our toil—this too is a gift from God. (Ecclesiastes 5:19)

Lord, thanks fer the station aboard ship ya ‘ave assigned me. Thanks fer the good things that fall inter my lap without any hard effort on my part. Thanks fer the work joy I find in the lift and fall of this vessel, the laughter of the crew after a good day’s work, fer how the tasks assigned ter me strengthen my muscles and grow gray matter. Not all treasures be found in a chest stowed under a bunk. You alone bring out heaven’s riches fer those who fear ya.

Fer this I give ya praise and thanks.

Amen.