Sailing Through Troubled Waters

The Pirate Gospel — First Thessalonians Chapter Three

When we could no longer restrain ourselves, our crew took a vote and decided it be wise ter set a course fer yer port of call. But in the midst of making preparations, the Son’s Spirit warned we ought ter hold steady a wee bit longer, that we be near sailing through troubled waters.

Sailing Through Troubled Waters

But in the midst of making preparations, the Son’s Spirit warned we ought ter hold steady a wee bit longer. Fer this reason we sent Two-Step Tim, our mate in dispensing the Son’s good news, ter lend you support and strengthen yer faith in our absence  — fer feared we did that the tempter might ‘ave his way with you and test you beyond yer strength. Should that come ter pass, thar be a chance our toil would be fer naught.

Before he cast off — and so that none among yer crew be shaken by the trials you face — I thought it best ter ship a letter yer way ter encourage and strengthen you.

Well you know, me hearties, that when I be with you, I warned yer crew that all who sail with the Son face tribulation. And such came ter pass just as I forewarned, fer on land and sea we ‘ill have storms and struggles. But praise be! The Son comforts us in all our trials.

Though we be concerned fer you, Two-Step Tim delivered ter us grand tidings of yer faith and goodwill, and how you hold fond memories of us: how you yearn greatly ter set eyes on us, just as we yearn ter set eyes on you.

Therefore, mates, you be a balm ter our souls in the midst of all our troubles and worries, fer it be yer faith that comforts us. And if you remain steadfast in the Lord, our spirits be alive and well, you may lay ter that.

Night and day, we be prayin’ with all our might ter see yer faces, and ter strengthen what be lackin’ in yer faith. Fer this reason we offer up this prayer:

May Skipper, our Father, and Captain, and his Son, our guide, plot a course fer us ter come back ter you. May the Son cause yer love fer one another ter increase all the more, jest as our love fer you increase by leagues.

May Skipper establish yer hearts so that each of yer crew be blameless and pure. May we be holy be fer Skipper so that none might be ashamed like the scallywags we once whar.

1 Thessalonians 3